Without You
by TheHouseWitch
Summary: "Oh Celebrían. I beseech you, return to me. I cannot bear to live without you!" - Set shortly after Celebrían's departure. In the dead of night Elrond grieves for his wife, and at last finds peace after much loss and grief.


Disclaimer: I own nothing. Everything belongs to its respective owners.

A/N: I am going to keep this short. I wrote this one-shot after listening to _Wuthering Heights _on repeat when I should have been writing an essay. This is unusually bleak compared to my other Elrond and Celebrían stories I have written, but I hope my efforts prove worthy. There are several stories out there that revolve around the time when Celebrían left to Valinor, and the aftermath of those events. This is a different take on the occurrences regarding Celebrían's ordeal. A little warning beforehand, this is not your conventional Elrond and Celebrían fiction, and there might be some sensitive themes.

Thank you for reading.

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**_Without You_**

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"Be with me always - take any form - drive me mad! only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you! Oh, God! it is unutterable! I cannot live without my life! I cannot live without my soul!"

-Emily Brontë, _Wuthering Heights._

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The room smelled like her. The faint smell of ripe citrus in the summertime and fresh roses hung in the curtains, and in the soft linen of their bed. It was a constant reminder of her, which made her absence all the more difficult to bear.

If he closed his eyes he could imagine her form lying in their bed, beckoning him to join her, blue eyes twinkling and full lips twitching in a private smile.

_Do not torment yourself so. She is gone, and you are alone. _A treacherous voice whispered into his ear. He snapped his eyes open and inhaled deeply.

He should not have come here so shortly after her parting. He knew that he was only adding to his pain, but after several nights of comforting his children he found that he needed solitude. Perhaps he should have listened to his family and friends and avoid his chambers. But somehow he found himself returning to their rooms. He needed to feel her presence, to soak up all that was left of her. He needed her more than life itself, and even though memories of her brought him pain it also brought him respite. She was still so very present. It was as if she had not left at all.

He shivered despite the thick lavish robes he wore. Winter still clung stubbornly in the valley, the unusually chilly weather preventing the coming of spring. Elrond found it hard to recall the warmth of the sun on his skin, nor the sweet song of nature. Everything was dark and he felt so very cold.

Despite the cold he kept the windows open. It reminded him that he was still alive. All he could feel was an emptiness that consumed him. He could almost feel the faint flickering of his light withering away.

He walked around the room, occasionally tracing certain possession of hers; a hairbrush that still held strands of silver hair, and her robes that were casually draped over the back of her favorite chair. One of her books lay open in the chair, the wind rustling through the pages.

Elrond stopped by the side of her bed, his hands clutching the white sheets, his head bent over the soft fabric. Her sweet scent invaded his senses. He lay down on her side of the bed, and buried his face in her pillow. Heavy sobs wrecked through his body as he cried for the cruel fate that took away his beloved.

He withdrew into himself and cried her name out, as if he was beckoning her to return to him. His head rose up, tear-filled eyes looking at the overcast sky outside.

"Oh Celebrían. I beseech you, return to me. I cannot bear to live without you!" He cried in agony.

He cried until his tears had run dry, and only his heart wrenching sobs disturbed the still night. Eventually he drifted into restless sleep. The temperature seemingly dropped, the cold sweeping into the dark room. Elrond shivered in his sleep, his warm breath turning into a puff of clouds in the cold air.

The curtains rustled in the wind, a flash of silver appeared behind the curtain then disappeared as quickly as it came. The cold breeze whispered against one pointed ear, caressing his face like a lover.

"Celebrían." Elrond murmured in his sleep.

"Elrond."

Elrond stirred in his sleep as the breeze brushed his hair away from his eyes.

"Elrond." The cool whisper of the breeze roused him from his sleep.

Grey eyes blinked, slowly gaining focus on his surroundings. He realized that he had fallen asleep but did not attempt to move, feeling suddenly a great weariness.

Outside it had started to snow. He watched as the snow fell heavily down on the ground, some flakes drifted through the open window. He thought he saw a flicker of white fabric twisting with the sheer fabric of the curtains. He closed his eyes tightly shut then opened them again.

And saw Celebrían.

He sat erect in his bed, his breath catching in his throat. Eyes wide he looked at the beautiful figure before him. She appeared ethereal clad in a flowing gown of white. Her skin was so white it seemed translucent. The snow did not touch her skin or the silver strands of her hair.

_She is not real. She cannot be real. _

"Elrond, my love." Her voice sounded like the sweet chime of bells.

"Celebrían." A tear slid down his cheek.

The last time he saw her she had lain lifelessly before him, her light gone.

"I must have lost my mind. You are not real."

A vibrant smile was her only response to his words. She took a step towards him, her hand reaching out to him.

"I have come for you, just as you asked."

Elrond shook his head in denial. "You were gone from me."

"I could never truly leave you. We are one, you and I, and nothing can sunder us."

She had reached the bed; her pale hand grasped his hand that lay on top of the cover.

Elrond's heart drummed in his chest as he felt her touch. He looked at her and smiled through his tears.

"I have missed you so."

Celebrían caressed his cheek, catching his tears as they fell. Elrond shivered, puff of clouds passed through trembling lips.

"I am so cold." He whispered.

Her hands pushed him gently into the soft mattress, and tucked the blankets around him. His eyes drooped, a heavy weight of weariness pulling him down.

"Sleep, my love."

She bent down, her lips caressing his pale lips gently. He felt her hand brush his hair away, and then it was gone.

"Celebrían." He breathed. Darkness swarmed around his vision as he fell into deep sleep.

When morning came it had stopped snowing. Pale rays of the sun twinkled on the frost covered windows. A faint knock on the bedroom door echoed through the room. When none answered the door creaked open. Unobtrusively a sole figure entered the room, a cup of tea in one hand and a bundle of letters in the other.

"Elrond." The voice said softly.

When there came no answer the tall figure moved towards the large bed. The sunrays fell on the side of the bed where the limp figure of the master of the valley lay. There was no sign of movement or acknowledgement of his presence. Elrond's name was repeated in concern, but there was no sound but the soft rustle of the curtains.

"Elrond." This time his voice was urgent, even fearful.

When he reached the bed he stopped abruptly, an audible gasp split the deadly silence. A splintering sound crushed the air as the fine china fell through numb fingers and splintered on the floor. The broken shards lay forgotten as blue eyes, wide with terrible fear, stared at the large bed.

Elrond lay peacefully in bed. Dark hair spilled around him like a halo, his gaunt features white as the sheets around him. Silver grey eyes that once were vibrant with life and light stared lifelessly upwards. His mouth was slightly open, his lips as pale as his skin.

One hand lay on top of the covers, a brilliant blue stone of sapphire that had once lay hidden was now clearly visible on his finger. His other hand lay stretched out towards the window, palm turned upwards. Light flickered on a thin golden band that lay in in the palm of his hand.

After a life full of pain and loss he looked truly at peace.

Terrible sense of dread took over the numbing shock, and quickly numb fingers fumbled for a pulse on the icy skin. A gut-wrenching cry of agony split the air when there was no sign of life to be found.

Elrond never felt the hot tears of his trusted friend and protector splash on his cheek as he cried over his body. Nor did he hear the songs of lament from his people who grieved for their beloved Lord and leader.

He never saw as his family and friends hovered over him and grieved for his loss.

He never felt the soft kisses and caresses when his children bade their last farewells.

Many songs were sung and tales told of his noble spirit and loving heart. There were few who did not mourn the loss of one of the greatest of the Eldar left in Middle-earth.

He was laid to rest on the first day of spring when the last remnants of snow had gone. In the summer flowers bloomed on his burial mound, and the one of his most beloved wife whose grave lay beside his.

The End

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A/N: This is an edit from the original post. This author's note did not exist for very specific reasons. I did not want to ruin the ending. However I think that there are few explanations that need to be laid out. First of all I am very much aware that this in an AU. Celebrían never died and Elrond certainly did not. It was a conscious decision to not include that information in the beginning. I have been fascinated with that alternate option. What would have happened if Celebrían died before she could sail to the west. I am certain that it would have claimed Elrond's life. I think the beauty of fan fiction is to explore the possibilities. I am usually a very strict canon writer and am very familiar with the original material, but I hope you forgive the liberty I have taken here.

I thank you so much for reading.


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